everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
