Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
