Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
