Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
