So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
