...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
