But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
