If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
