I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Randomize
