i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
