PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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