Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
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For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
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Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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