I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
