the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
