I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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