its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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