I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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