Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
