just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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