oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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