i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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