ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
