I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
