You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
