its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
