we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
