Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
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