does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
