I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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