What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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