your room smells of hookers.
And success
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
