why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
It's rum buckets o'clock
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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