If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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