dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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