Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
