I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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