You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
