i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
