a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
