He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
