We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize