smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
