Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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