On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
