wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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