I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
