Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Randomize
