You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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