maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
