JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
