I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
