Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
