like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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