Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
