But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Randomize