i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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