hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
