OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Banned from zoo.
Again?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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