There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
