My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
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